Why I Talk About Taboo Topics

When I first started YouTube, I was doing so for no reason other than trying to satisfy my boredom. I had many months of nothing ahead of me and I needed a creative outlet to keep me occupied. I struggled to find my "niche" because I wanted to create content that was true to me.

Finding your USP is hard to do when your personality is at the centre of it all - what makes you different? And most importantly, how do you then maintain that USP despite your inevitable change and growth as a person?

What happens when you're sharing "too much"?

Making the choice to overhaul my channel and take on a new direction was a very difficult choice to make. I knew I was doing the right thing by my passion, but I worried that talking about sex online would make employers question my professionalism.

Growing up in the naughties meant that I was berated with words of warning about what I might share on the internet since "it might prevent you from getting a good job in the future"... 90s babies, you feel me?

I would be lying if I said it's not something I worry about, but I know that being raw and honest about my experiences as a woman doesn't interfere with my ability to work in a professional environment. In fact, who's to say this won't be a job? I dream of a life where it could be.

What is a USP?

Your USP is your "Unique Selling Proposition" or "Unique Selling Point". It's the thing that makes people choose you, your company or your product. It's their reason for choosing, staying and returning to you and not your competitors. I hate to think of other bloggers & YouTubers as "competitors" (because it's far more complicated than simply competing for attention) but if we're going to talk about blogging as an industry, then technically that's the correct term to use.

In 2016, I hit reset on my content so that I could focus on being true to myself. This was pretty hard to do since it meant I was going to be sharing a lot of myself online and opening myself up to criticism. I have always been loud in the way in which I live. I make the most of every moment, I challenge myself to experience things that others don't understand... and often, I am made to feel shame for being interested in things that others don't think are "appropriate" to share.

You could say that's my USP. What makes me stand out is the fact that I am willing to share and talk about things that others would not be willing to. I open the floor for conversation about topics that many people feel they have nobody to talk about them with. I aim to instill the confidence in people so that they might question and explore things that'd previously felt too embarrassed or ashamed to have done so.

I don't know about you, but I don't think that's something I should be ashamed of.

Allowing myself to be vulnerable

Before I was the strong and confident person I pride myself in being today, I was an insecure, shy girl who just wanted people to like her. Being strong didn't come from the will to be so, it came from the need to push through. As a vulnerable teenager, I was pushed and pulled in every direction. Manipulated, lied to and forced to take the fall for things that weren't my fault, I was used and abused by the "friends" and boys whose attention I craved in an attempt to feel validated.

My family and I have always been very open about sex. There was never any moment where I would've felt uncomfortable approaching any one of my family members about a question or curiosity I might have had. However, this isn't the case for the people around me that didn't belong in my family bubble. I have always been open and honest about my sexual experiences, and yet my friends would giggle and blush at the mere mention of a penis. Everyone felt embarrassed about being on their period, everyone's worst nightmare was having people know that they masturbate, and the list goes on.

Is it wrong to not want to talk about it?

There is nothing wrong with being a private person. People don't need to know the (literal) ins and outs of your body if you don't want to share them. The only time I'd consider it a problem is if your need for privacy is coming from a place of shame. Nobody should feel shame for being a sexual person and nobody should feel shame for the natural way in which their body operates. Sex is normal, as is masturbation, as are periods. How are we meant to live and enjoy life if we're constantly worried about what's "normal" and not feeling able to ask?

Talking openly and honestly about things that make people uncomfortable is the only way of getting rid of the unreasonable discomfort that everyone feels when these things are mentioned. It's not awkward or TMI, it's nature. I won't be silenced for sharing the complex and hard-to-manoeuvre feelings that come with being a functioning human.

Relationships are hard, sex is complicated and sexual health especially so. We don't have to struggle through things on our own over a narrative of awkwardness, because we're all going through it together, whether we talk about it or not.

You don't have to stomach my content if it bothers you, but bother you is exactly what I am trying to do. I hope every person that has watched my content has at some point felt uncomfortable and been made to question their perspective at least once. Disagreeing with others, taking their perspectives into consideration and hearing about experiences besides your own is how you grow.